.Thursday, May 31, 2007 ' 1:37 PM Y
& I'm waiting
OH YEA.. HERE ARE THE LYRICS OF AT THE BEGINNING FROM ANASTASIA.. I"M TOTALLY MAD ABOUT IT.. IT"S SO NICE~ PRESS THE PLAY BUTTON AT THE MUSIC PART OF MY BLOG TO HEAR IT.. U DID LOVE IT!~ xD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
. ' 1:34 PM Y
& I'm waiting
OH YEA.. YTD SAY NEED GO DO STH IS BE MATCHMAKER.. xD
MATCHMAKED MY BEST TWO FRENS..
-StaReST and -Kiyo-
GRATS~~~~ CANNOT WASTE ME AND MY SHIFU"S EFFORT(HE MAKE ME SAY DE =X)
BE AS LOVING FOREVER~ WORNIU & COPYCAT 4 EVA~ xD
AND NOW TT XIN XIN GO AND ASK MY SHIFU WAN ME OR NOT... == WADDE... THEN MY SHIFU TRYIN TO FIND A BOY FOR ME.. == BUT I ALL REJECT xP..
HAHAS... WAITING FOR MY XIN XIN TO ON9.. SHE SAY 2 O'CLOCK.. SO LONG!!! ><
BORING~
BORING~
BORING~
=X
BB~ I"VE NTH TO POST.. =X
.Wednesday, May 30, 2007 ' 5:33 PM Y
& I'm waiting
HAHAS~ SO LONG NEVER POST AGAIN~ SEEMS LIKE I"M KINDA WIERD =X.. HOLIDAYS ARE FINALLY HERE~
OH YA.. RIGHT HERE.. WISHING HWEE HOON A HAPPY 'LATE' BDAY! xD WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON 26th may...xD
Camp on 18th June.. NOT LOOKING FOWARD TO IT AT ALL.. ><" IT"S GONNA BE A DAMN HARD TRAINING CAMP..AND I"M GONNA DIE.. ><><" AND THEN KEEP FINDING ME TO CHAT.. THEN I DUN DARE ANSWER.. HE"S SO WIERD LA.. ><" AIYAS..HAVE TO GO DO STH LE.. NEXT TIME THEN BLOG.. ><
.Saturday, May 19, 2007 ' 1:57 PM Y
& I'm waiting
FUCK!!!!!!! SUCKER!! IDIOT!!!!!!!!! HE ALWAYS THINK HE VERY PRO LIKE THAT.. SAY I NEVER ANSWER HIM WHATEVER WHATEVER.. HECK CARE HIM LA.. ALWAYS ASK HIM QUES HE ALSO WAIT A WHILE THERE DAY DREAM.. THEN I ASK AGAIN. HE HUH ME.. STILL MUST SAY 3RD TIME THEN HE ANSWER. AND I SO ANGRY I TOLD HIM THAT RIGHT IN HIS FACE. AND U KNOW WHAT FUCKING ANSWER HE GIVE? "I WHERE GOT NEVER ANSWER U? IF I DARE TO SAY U LIKE THAT, THAT MEANS I WON'T DUN ANSWER PEOPLE DE" IDIOT SIA! THINK HE VERY PRO. [SRY FOR THE VULGAR..BUT I'M TOO PISSED OFF AND...]
AND THAT SICKENING BRO SAY HE NEED DO HW USING COM TO HIM. AND HE FUCKING COME TELL ME WHEN I PLAYING AUDI HALFWAY ASK ME OFF THE GAME LET HIM USE. USE WAT SHIT LA. JUST NOW HE WAS ASKING ME TO LET HIM PLAY. NOW BECOME DO HW. WHAT THE HECK LA!
SO PISSED OFF NOW. WHY ARE THERE SUCH PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY. STILL SAY "F U KEEP PLAYING EVERYDAY LIKE THAT" NOTE THAT EVERYDAY! I ONLY PLAY AUDI DURING WEEKENDS LA! WHAT THE FUCK LA!
THEN STILL SAY ONE DAY HE WILL OFF MY COM UNTIL SPOIL THEN DUN NID USE IT FOR HW LIAO. ASK ME EVERYTIME GO FRENS' HOUSE USE SEE I EMBARRASSED OF WHATEVER OR WAT. KNS LA! HE THINK HE WAT IS IT! LIKE THAT THE MOST I DROP OUT OF NANYANG GO OTHER SCH LA. LIKE I CARE! IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT! EVERYTIME MY BRO CAN PLAY I CANNOT. WHAT IDIOT FUCKING FACT IS THIS? HAVE HE EVEN CARE AND THOUGHT ABOUT MY FEELINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE? HE ONLY LIKES BOYS WAT! SAY WAT I STUDY SO MUCH SO GOOD NO MANNERS ALSO NO USE. I FEEL LIKE TEARING UP THE STUPID STORYTELLING SABBATICAL PAPER INFRONT OF ME NOW. I DUN WISH TO TALK TO HIM. CAUSE EVERY SENTENCE OR EVEN WORD THAT COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS FUCKIN SMELLY! EVERYTIME OFF MY COM STRAIGHT WHEN I PLAYING. THEN MY BRO JIU DIFFERENT LA! SAY DENG YI XIA THEN HE PLAY 20 MINS LATER THEN HE SLOWLY SHUT DOWN HIS COM! WTH!
SICK WITH COUGH AND SORE THROAT. BUT DOES HE EVEN CARE ABOUT ME? ALL MY FRENS ASK IF I'M ALRIGHT AND MY MUM TAKES CARE OF ME EVERYDAY. EVEN IF HUIJUN JOKE ABOUT WHETHER I NEED HER COME MY HOUSE TO TAKE CARE OF ME... I STILL KNOWS THAT SHE MEANT GOOD FOR ME. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN ASK WHETHER I FEEL BETTER OR WAT. AND MY BRO TOO, ONLY CARE ABOUT PLAYING HIS COM AND TT'S ALL. AND HE IS BAISED TOWARDS MY BRO, HAVE TO PUT THE COM IN HIS ROOM. AND THEN TT TIME I RUSHING PROJECT DUE THE NEXT DAY, AND THEN MY BRO SAY WAN SLEEP ASK ME OFF. AND TT IDIOT HE COME AND SCOLD ME SAY WHY NOW THEN DO PROJECT. BETER OFF NOW. NEXT TIME IF UR FRENS SO LATE THEN DO PROJECT WIF U, TELL THE TEACHER I DUN WAN DO PROJECT WIF HER. THE COM IN MY BRO'S ROOM AND HE NEED SLEEP BUT THIS GIRL DO PROJECT VERY LATE THEN MY BRO CANNOT SLEEP! WTH LA! TT TIME I CAN TELL U CONFIDENTLY THE TIME WAS 9.30. ZZ... IT'S SO EARLY LA!
AND HE LIED TO ME WHEN WE MOVED HOUSE. SAY GIB ME ONE SMALL ROOM AT THE BACK THERE. AND THEN MY BRO GOT THE BIGGER ROOM? YEA.. HE BIGGER HE GET BIGGER LA. WELL, I DUN WAN TO ARGUE ABOUT TT. AND HE STILL SAY WAN INSTALL AIR CON FOR ME AND SO ON. AND IN THE END, NTH!?!?! AND THE COM STILL HAVE TO BE PLACED IN MY BRO'S ROOM. HAVE THEY EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ME? HE ONLY THINKS THAT HE'S RIGHT. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT TO HIM. HE THINK HE'S RIGHT, THE ULTIMATE WINNER RIGHT? WTH LA! AND HE SENT ME TO THE TEMPLE TO LEARN BUDDISHM, ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND THINGS. DURING THE PERIOD WHEN I WENT TO THE TEMPLE, I REALLY LEARNT ALOT OF THINGS, AND THEY DO SORT OUT MY THOUGHTS AT TIMES, AND I BELIEVE IN THE BUDDHA.. AS MY TUTION TEACHER HAD SAID, HE ACHIEVED WISDOM, HE HAS WISDOM, CAUSE HE BELIEVED IN THE BUDDHA, AND THE BUDDHA GAVE HIM WISDOM, BUT.. BUT HIS TEMPER.. HE DOESN'T MAKE TILL THE POINT OF FORGIVENESS.. I THINK I SHALL NOT TALK ABOUT THIS..
AND BECAUSE TT PEICE OF PAPER INFRONT OF ME NOW IS FOR THE SABBATICAL THING, I ONLY TORE A BIT OF IT. AND TOOK THE BLANK PAPER AND TEAR AND TEAR. AND HE SAY PICK UP EVERY PIECE OF PAPER LATER. WTF LA! WHO CARES! I'M NEVER GONNA PICK IT UP! HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME! HE ONLY HURTS ME! AND WHY DO I STUDY SO HARD TO MAKE HIM HAPPY? TO MAKE HIM PROUD OF ME? NO.. I HAVE A CHOICE NOT TO DO TT. I CAN DON'T COME TO NANYANG. I CAN DUN BE IN THE BEST CLASS 6H. I CAN DUN GET 263 FOR PSLE. I CAN DUN GET STANDARD PLACINGS AT ALL IN PRI SCH. I COULD HAVE JUST BE A ROTTEN APPLE THEN A BRIGHT JUICY ONE. I COULD HAVE GONE EM3. I COULD HAVE JUST FAIL PSLE. BUT ALL THESE CANNOT BE CHANGE, CAUSE IT'S THE PAST. AND MAYBE I HAD JUST DID IT FOR MYSELF, OR MAYBE MY MUM. SHE CAN BE UNREASONABLE AT TIMES, BUT I TELL HER EVERYTHING AT NIGHT BEFORE BED, AND SHE UNDERSTANDS. I WISH FOR MY TUTION TEACHER TO COME BACK FROM INDONESIA AND TEACH ME.. I NEED HIS HELP. BUT WILL HE BE MY RIGHT CHOICE? I NEED SOMEONE TO CONFRONT TO.. I NEED MDM SNG MAYBE, BUT SHE'S TOO BUSY AFTER ALL.. I COULD FIND MY PRI SCH TEACHERS, BUT AFTER ALL, THEY DUN HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE. AND MY SEC SCH TEACHERS SIMPLY DUN CARE. WELL, IN NANYANG, EVERYHING IS JUST ABOUT COMPETITION AND STUDY, RESULTS AND TROPHIES. WAT MORE ARE THERE?
AND EVERYTHING MADE ME SICK, SICK OF LIFE, SICK OF LIVING... I DUN WANT TO DO ANY HW..I'M TOO TIRED TO THEM.. I'M TOO SICK OF HW.. I DREADED HW SIMPLY.. BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT TT, CAUSE I'M A NANYANG GIRL, IN NANYANG GIRLS' HIGH SCH.
A STUDENT'S JOB IS TO STUDY AND DO HW.. WHO INVENTED SCH? WHO INVENTED STUDYING? AND SHOULD WE EVEN HATE TO BE ABLE TO STUDY AND DO HW? HOW ABOUT THE POOR KIDS IN AFRICA AND INDONESIA, OR SIMPLY THE UNIVERSE? WHY DO WE HAVE A CHANCE TO STUDY, AND THEY DON'T? THERE IS NEVER A SATISFIED ANSWER TO THIS QUES, AND THE ANSWER IS NOT GOD MADE IT TT WAY OR WAT. IN THIS WORLD, GOD MIGHT NOT HAVE EXISTED EVEN, IT'S JUST A BELIEF OF PEOPLE. OR MAYBE THE ANSWER IS PEOPLE MADE IT TT WAY, OR IT'S SIMPLY "THIS IS LIFE. LIFE IS NEVER FAIR".
WHY AM I MADE TO BE A CLEVER GIRL IN PEOPLE'S EYES TODAY? AND WHY AM I SAID TO BE MATURE BY PEOPLE? WHY DO I THINK SO MUCH? AND NOW, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I DID PEN DOWN MY THOUGHTS.
WHY DO I CRY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE LAST TIME? AND NOW I WISH TO CRY, BUT WHERE DID MY TEARS GO? ALL DRIED UP.. ALL GONE.. AND THIS FEELING IS REALLY TERRIBLE.. TIMOTHY SAID IT TOOK HIM 6 YEARS TO SORT AND THINK EVERYTHING OUT AND LEARN TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE IN LIFE.. BUT WILL TIME REALLY RESOLVE EVERYTHING FOR ME? I DOUBT SO..
WHAT IS LIFE? WHY IS LIFE CREATED? WHO OWNS LIFE? WHERE DOES LIFE COME FROM? HOW DOES LIFE TASTE? BITTER OR SWEET?
DIFFERENT PHRASES IN LIFE.. FROM A BABY TO A TOODLER WHO STARTS TO UNDERSTAND THINGS.. AND FROM A TOODLER TO A TEENAGER WHO STARTS TO FROWN ABOUT TROUBLES AND STUFF.. AND FROM A TEENAGER TO AN ADULT WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND THINGS AND THINK TT CHILDREN DO NOT UNDERSTAND. AND FROM AN ADULT TO AN ELDERLY WHO SOMETIMES DOESN'T EVEN CARES ABOUT LIFE. IS THIS THE LIFE OF EVERYONE?
HOW I WISH TIME CAN COME TO A STANDSTILL AND I DID STILL BE IN PRI SCH. ABLE TO TELL MY FEELINGS TO MY TEACHERS AND MY FRENS.... 6H... THE CLASS TT HAD ALWAYS BEEN BONDED.. I WISH TO GO BACK THERE.. BUT TIME CANNOT BE TURN BACK.. LIGHT LOOKS FRAIL FOR ME IN THE FUTURE AND I'M SIMPLY LOST.. WITH A BROKEN HEART AND BROKEN SOUL.. WILL ANYONE SAVE ME? MY GAN KOR? MY MUM? MY FRENS? MY TEACHERS? I DUN THINK SO..
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE YEAR, I CRIED.. I CRIED IN MY HEART MISERABLY, AND CRIED WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.. TT'S THE RIGHT WAY TO CRY.. TO ME.. CRYING ISN'T AN EASY TASK FOR ME ANYMORE..I HAVE TO BE STRONG AND SOLVE EVERYTHING...... BUT OTHER PEOPLE NEED HELP, DON'T I TOO? BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE AND BOTHER TO HELP ME.. EVEN WHEN I'M REAL DROWNING....
LIFE IS HARD, CAUSE WE MADE IT THAT WAY.. AS MY SENIOR HAD SAID, HOW TRUE TT SENTENCE WAS.. AND SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND OR EXPERIENCE THE MEANING OF LIFE.. CAUSE THEY ARE CHILDISH..
AND FOR ME TO WALK OUT OF THIS DARK TUNNEL, IT'D BE HARD.. AND I DUNNO WHEN..IT MAY TAKE 1 DAY, 1 MONTH, 1 YEAR, 1 DECADE OR EVEN FOREVER... CRYSTAL TEARS STREAM DOWN MY FACE, AS I FELL.. WILL ANYONE BE THERE TO CATCH ME, AND WIPE MY TEARS FOR ME? .. ...
MY HEART BROKE, MY SOUL PERISHED, AND TO HIM, IT SEEM THAT NTH REALLY HAPPEN... IT REALLY BROKE MY HEART.. AND MY HEART CRIED MISERABLY, PAINFULLY... AND NOBODY IS THERE TO HELP ME OUT OF HERE.. AND I'M STUCK AND DROWNED IN MY OWN FEELINGS... ='(
.Wednesday, May 16, 2007 ' 7:42 PM Y
& I'm waiting
xD Woahs...can' believe i didn't post for so long.. Time do fly, doesn't it? xD
Hahs... Today didn't go to sch... Was down with a fever and sore throat.. can't talk much.. ><
Anyways, Thx Gan kor, Angela, Eileen and everybody for ur concerns.. Will tey to get well soon de.. =D
Feel so relaxed when not going to sch.. was laughing away at 7 plus when i was playing audition cause cannot sleep... xD then suddenly thought that my class having dance lessons.. I was laughing away to myself... dunno why.. think just happy tt they in sch i at home playing.. xD
OK.. Tt make me sound like a baddie girl.. I"M NOT! =XX Feel asleep cause the medicine made me damn drowsy.. Oly woke up when i hate mulitple loud bangs on the door.. Knew it was my bro but didn't feel like getting up to open the door for him.. Then when i finally got up.. He went to find my mum for the key.. LOLS..
My bro's fren came to our house.. Was jut walking around the house, daydreaming.. When i passed by my bro's room.. Noticed that his frens were looking at my blog.. or did i see wrongly in the first place? ><
CCA geting stressed up.. Nvm.. Shall not talk about that..
Nth much to post about.. Too sleepy to even type fast enough in audi.. So means that too sleepy to even blog? =X
-Too tired to think about you.. Too tired to dream of u.. Too tired to miss u...-
.Wednesday, May 2, 2007 ' 6:26 PM Y
& I'm waiting
Haiz..today was supposed to be a hapy day, but it didn't turn out to be so..
Apart from the boring lessons which required us to sit in class, the first lesson was dance... Dance was always kinda nice, and today the teacher gave us our grades... Well, kinda happy to get a B already... Our class was like the only class with no C or D... TT"S GOOD HUH...
German lesson wasn't so bad after all, sort of 'enjoy' it as normal...no stress so it's kinda fun sometimes.. stayed back at moelc to eat cup noodles wif Yu Chan and Gina.. Was walking on this long stretch of road which connected Bishan bus interchange and the traffic light to moelc.. dunno what i thinking about...just walked and walked and the next thing i knew...i feel down and was on the grass patch that surrounded the side of the path... ><" now my white skirt became a half brown skirt because of the stupid mud on the grass... Thx Yu Chan for accompanying me home.. Starting to think about pri sch again...miss 6H so much~ ><" HOw i wished time never passed so fast...so i'd be still in pri sch...always stay at pri 6H with Mdm Sng and Mr Quek.. Now sec sch is so much diff and i dun like it at all... if time can come to a standstill at that time, how nice would it be...
Having class meeting in June.. really looking foward to it...i miss 6H!! Hope they will organise it on 23 June..then i will be the special birthday girl tt day... =D It's nice having ur old classmates celebrate birthday wif u...
Watching tv now while blogging... The show was Hai Tun Wan Lian Ren (海豚湾恋人)... And realised tt Love is somethng really complicated.. and why do some people hurt others because they want to save their own reputation, or rather thier face.. and after tt go apologise again... What's the point of apologising since u've already done it and still hope that people will forgive u... No one can reverse time... So think before u do anything...
-Love, an unsolved puzzle for infinity time-
-Janice-