.Friday, November 30, 2007 ' 1:39 PM Y
& I'm waiting
thought of unlocking my blog.
but i think i dun wan it anymore.
i dun wan her to find it again and read it.
cos i found her blog after seeing alien(this is so tt she doesnt search and find)'s post.
okay, i seriously dunno wad to start from again.
i wanted to post the pics i took ytd.
talk about ytd the nice nice day first.
Thursday, 29 Nov 2007went to clementi in tt early morning.
asked a stupid ques kayy.
asked whether can wear home clothes or not.
lol, dunno why i asked tt lahh.
okay, so we had lots of ufn at west coast kayY! :D
Cheryl's mum is so damn nice! xD
except for the fact tt she drives very slow.
and i got dizzy in her car.
but maybe i was just tired . xD
cant be bothered to upload the pics le.
cos only alien is reading.
and then other ppl also cannot see the pic.
i <3 BRAVO kay.
we seriously rox! <3
x)
GO BRAVO~
MUST BEAT OTHER GROUPS KAY.
THEY SAY WE SERIOUSLY HAS A HIGH CHANCE OF WINNING.
SO WE MUST MAKE IT A FACT KAYY!.
MUST BEAT DEXTEROUS AND SHOW HER TT.
<3 Cheryl, Mel, Huili, Junwei, Ai Ying.
We spent the rest of the day together!
WITHOUT ANY BOYS! xD
Walked all the way from one end to the other end of the park.
cos Cheryl say got this dog run place.
then maybe can see dogs.
then we just anything anything walk walk lorh.
anyways, just after lunch mahh.
go walk walk also good.
then we walk all the way.
so long can -.-
then reach there see the map.
then realise actually we walked all the way to the end.
worst still, u know wad?
THE DOG RUN PLACE WAS CLOSED.
LOL.
so in the end we walked back :X
then sang cheers on the way there and back. x)
and they started playing with a pong pong fruit can.
kick here kick there.
they trying to break the pong pong loll.
but in the end hor, all the juice/water coming out.
then Cheryl keep throwing the thing up on to the tree.
or rather on the tree.
to break it.
and Mel spotted this beehive on tt tree!
LOL.
then all of them started running over.
Cheryl threw the thing over the beehive then the fruit came down.
so heng can xD
then they all scream and start running over.
me and junwei playing wif tt fake fake bicycle on the ground. :X
so funny.
then they started running towards us.
we quite far from them lahh.
cant stop laughing X:
then we all run to the underpass there xD
haha, then slowly walk back.
then we started marching.
cos nobody there mahh.
not even a soul.
only at random times the officer-on-duty cycle here and there.
and the ppl cutting the grass lah..
haha, our marching very guai can.
cos they timing like suddenly fast suddenly slow.
xD
end up we all luan diao.
but in the end still walk back to mac.
sit there.
and we discussed performance!
then wait wait wait.
then sir came! xD
chatted wif him a while.
then we went outside the playground play.
we climbed the pyramid/spider web thingy!
EVEN SIR DID.
SIR AND CHERYL CLIMBED RIGHT UP TO THE TOP.
ME, JUNWEI, HUILI STOPPED HALFWAY.
Aiying went home alr, then Mel cannot play, cos she fell down ytd.
then got a few wounds.
get well soon kay ((:
haha. then Cheryl and Sir hor.
each person sit one side.
then back to back.
look like wad can xDD
then me and huili and junwei playing sand again.
then they climbed down.
Sir came over and asked wad we doing.
then huili one two..
(we wanted to throw sand xDD)
but Sir ran away. -.-
he went look for Mel.
can see he biased towards her lahh.
nvm lahh. (:
then cheryl went back soon after too.
the three of us started burying our feets inside the sand again.
haha. then after tt started raining.
then we went back to mac.
talk and talk
then around 8.
Cheryl's Mum came.
drove us to YewTee mrt cos they live in yewtee.
then Sir stayed at mac, dunno why :X
so huili stopped at yishun.
me and mel went back toa payoh.
mel is nice de i agree for tt.
went home. so tired.
then went online.
find bear bear(SHE"S BACK <333), alien, and SHERLYN SAINT TAN XDD
after tt slept.
Friday, 31 Nov 2007haii.
read her blog.
seriously dunno where to start from.
she wrotes lots of bad things.
and lots of vulgarites about me.
suan le.
i dun wanna care anymore.
thought tt she xiang tong le.
then wrote me tt letter.
i wrote her one too.
but forgot to gave her.
like two weeks or so le.
felt very bad towards her.
i do know tt i hurted her.
and i must say.
even though she wun be reading this.
I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR SIX YEARS.
YES.
U SAID SO TOO,
SIX YEARS.
BUT ONLY TILL SEC 1.
I REALLY START TO KNOW U.
IN PRI SCH,
I DUN REALLY EVEN TALK TO U MUCH.
SO U CANT BLAME ME FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING U.
BECOS IM REALLY JUST LIKE A NEW FREN TO U.
U CAN SAY SO.
AND I KNOW MEL IS MUCH NICER THAN ME.
TO U.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY.
U KEEP SAYING I DUN UNDERSTAND U.
MAYBE I REALLY DUN.
BUT IF U'RE WORKING TT KIND NO TIME THEN CAN DUN GO JOB.
WHAT ARE U SO STRESSED UP ABOUT IT?
NO TIME THEN DUN GO LAH!
AND I DUN UNDERSTAND U,
IS BECOS.
ALL OF US ARE DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS.
I'VE BEEN TRYING HARD NOWADAYS
NOT TO HURT U.
AND U SAID SO TOO,
U'RE TRYING NOT TO HURT US TOO.
EVERYTHING SEEMS FINE NOW ON THE OUTSIDE.
BUT IT SEEMS SO DAMN CHAOTIC ON THE INSIDE.
U CAN SAY IM RELAXING.
PLAYING GAMES.
YESH,
BUT IT'S UR CHOICE TO GO AND WORK.
AND DUN THINK I DUN FEEL BAD IM USING SO MUCH OF MY MUM'S MONEY OR SO.
BECOS I DO.
AND I DO WAN TO WORK,
BUT I CANT FIND ANY JOB.
WANTED TO GO WORK IN THE PLACE MY MUM WORKED AT.
BUT THEY DUN RECRUIT 13 YEARS OLD DE REN.
I MAY SEEM REALLY BAD TO U.
BUT IN THE PAST.
U TOLD LCBS.
THAT.
I DUN CARE ABOUT U.
AND I NEVER ASK WHETHER U'RE OKAY.
TT TIME WHEN U'RE HURT.
EVEN THOUGH I'VE KNOWN U FOR SIX YEARS.
BUT THINK AGAIN?
DID I REALLY NEVER ASK U?
AND TT TIME,
I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT TT TOO.
U SAY I DUN UNDERSTAND UR STRESS AND SO ON.
I CAN SAY I REALLY DUN.
AND ON TT PARTICULAR DAY.
U CRIED IN FRONT OF SENIORS.
THE REASON WHY I WROTE IN MY BLOG WHICH I CHANGED URL.
TT U ARE TRYING TO GET SYMPATHY OR STH.
IS BECOS I CANNOT STAND IT.
AND I TRIED MY BEST TO HOLD EVERYTHING TT DAY.
DIDNT WANT TO GO DISTURB U.
COS I REALLY DUN UNDERSTAND.
AND I DUNNO WAD TO SAY.
I HATE MYSELF FOR TT.
FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO COMFORT PPL
AND UNDERSTAND PPL, ESP U.
COS TO ME,
AFTER I READ UR LETTER.
I REALLY FELT TT U'VE BECOME PART OF MY LIFE.
STH TT I REALLY WANT TO HOLD ON TO.
STH TT I DUN WAN TO LOSE.
AND I CAN SAY TOO,
AFTER SO LONG,
U DONT UNDERSTAND ME AS WELL.
BECOS IF U'RE STILL WRITING TT IN UR BLOG ABOUT ME.
I CAN TELL U.
U DUN UNDERSTAND ME TOO.
AND THE REASON NOW IM LETTING ALIEN TO READ MY BLOG IS TT.
I WANT A LIL TRUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.
COS I FEEL TT I NEGLECTED HER DURING THIS YEAR.
AND SHE DO UNDERSTAND ME ALOT.
TT'S LIFE.
PPL UNDERSTAND OTHER PPL.
MAYBE WE ARE JUST NOT FATED TO BE GOOD FRENS.
OR SO.
BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST.
AND SO WOULD U.
JUST LIKE U HAD SAID SO.
AND IF U DUN BUY GIFTS FOR US.
DO WE MIND?
HAVE WE SAID TT WE MIND?
IN PRI SCH.
ALOT OF US DUN BUY GIFTS FOR EACH OTHER.
U SENT ME A SMS 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'
IM ALR THANKFUL FOR IT.
U WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT IN MY FACE.
IM TAHNKFUL OF IT TOO.
AT LEAST THERE'S THE EFFORT.
AND U DUNNO WAD STRESS I HAVE TOO.
BECOS U DUN PLAY ONLINE GAMES LIKE ME.
IT'S NOT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF RELAXING.
U LEARN ABOUT FRENSHIP AND STUFF IN GAMES.
U LEARN FROM OTHER PLAYERS
THOSE U HAVE NEVER KNOWN THEM B4.
TT MAKES U A CHANGED PERSON.
AND I CAN TELL U FRANKLY.
AUDI IS FULL OF COUPLES AND STUFF.
AND I DO HAVE A COUPLE.
AND DEEP DOWN INSIDE MY HEART.
I CAN SAY I DO LOVE HIM.
NOT TT KIND OF PLAY PLAY LOVE.
IS REAL LOVE.
STH TT U MIGHT NOT HAVE EXPERIENCED B4.
AND FOR TT, U DUN UNDERSTAND.
AND WHEN SOMEBODY BREAKS WIF U.
IT'S ONE DEVASTATING ONE.
TT U DUN UNDERSTAND TOO.
ONE HAS IT'S OWN STRESS TOO.
SOMETIMES,
I RATHER I PLAY AUDI.
THEN TALK TO PPL I KNOW.
COS IN AUDI,
THOSE GOOD FRENS I HAVE DUNNO ME IN REAL LIFE.
THEY ACCOMPANY ME.
AND MAKE ME FELE HAPPIER AND SUCH.
AND TO ME AND MY LIFE,
TT'S WAD THESE GAMES ARE FOR.
IT'S NOT JUST ONLY FOR RELAXATION.
AND EVEN LCBS SAID SO.
EMO IS NOT GOOD.
THEN TRY NOT TO EMO.
U TOLD ME TT U WUN.
BUT IF U'RE SUCH AN EMO PERSON.
THINK ABOUT THE HAPPY THINGS.
IT WILL REALLY HELP MUCH BETTER.
AND DUN DWELL SO MUCH ON THOSE SAD THINGS.
IT NEVER HELPS I CAN TELL U.
AND THIS IS WAD I LEARN FROM GAMES.
I LEARN TO BE OPTIMISTIC AND LOOK FURTHER.
I LEARN TO BECOME A HAPPIER PERSON TO MAKE OTHER PPL HAPPY.
TO CHEER UP THEIR DAY.
BUT ONE THING I NEVER COULD LEARN.
IS TT I CANNOT COMFORT PPL.
FOR SOME REASON.
I DUNNO, MAYBE IM TOO SHY OR WAD.
IM JUST AFRAID TT I MAKE PPL MORE SAD.
AND I DUN WAN TT TO HAPPEN.
BUT I PROMISE MYSELF, FOR MY SAKE, UR SAKE, AND EVERYBODY'S SAKE.
TT I'LL TRY.
IF U REALLY DUN LIKE ME TT MUCH,
I COULD HAVE JUST LEAVE NY U KNOW.
BUT IT HAS BEEN MY DREAM.
BECOS MY DAD KEEP STRESSING ME TO STUDY.
BECOS HE WANTS ME TO DO WELL.
HE HAS HIGH EXPECTATIONS ON ME.
AND I DUN WAN TO DISAPPOINT HIM.
BECOS MY BRO HAS BEEN DOING SO.
BUT BECOS OF MY BRO, I'VE NOT BEEN DOING WORK.
I WANNA TRY MY BEST NOW.
IM LEARNING FROM U.
TO WORK HARD.
I DUN WANNA DISAPPOINT ANYBODY ANYMORE.
NOW U'RE NOT WRONG.
AND U DUN HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT ANYMORE.
IM DOING IT NOW.
AND JUST ONE LAST SENTENCE.
WHY DO U REGRET FORGIVING ME AFTER U HAD DID TT?
think again.
.Tuesday, November 27, 2007 ' 5:07 PM Y
& I'm waiting
woohoo. im back to mapling. (:
haha, kinda surprised of myself.
cos keep thinking maple v boring.
then think i wun go back le.
but in the end still got lah.
cant stand the influence of my bro :X
once he starts playing sth,
i'll follow de.
hmms, my bro went to buy ram to add on to the com lah.
suppose to go faster der.
but i think internet like got no difference leh.
but maple got lah.
lesser lags now.
so is audi (:
well. this morning went sch for casualty! ((:
haha, so glad i went sch.
cos i saw lcff. (:
actually not really 'LOVE' her until wad lah.
is just chong bai her and tt kind ((:
yup.
eh. i wan go quiz team lorh.
looks kinda fun.
esp wif those nice nice trainers, 'lcff, lcd, priscilla, wai tiem'.
it's a blessing for those year 2 seniors who are quiz team now!
their trainers damn nice can.
too bad i cannot go liao )):
dun feel like entering com team lah.
really.
find it very stressful )):
and it takes up lots of my time too.
and im not a good time planner.
so yeah.
well, forget about the unhappy things!
must be like eileen! (:
casualty was quite fun today (:
eileen forgot she got concussion.
then gengyu ask her name everything she also say.
end up lchm was like screaming eileen tan!
LOL.
so funny can :XX
haha. went to eat wif eileen at coro.
and guess wad?
wo men shi lucky de lor. !
xD
we saw the com team trainers and lcff and lcd!!
haha.
actually wanted go kep.
but went coro instead!
im glad we did.
then we sitting inside eating mah.
then cpl eliza walk here walk there.
then she suddenly saw me,
cos we sat at the door there.
then she very dao and stare at me can ><
then i peeped through the window look at them.
went ncos sqd blog for fun.
and guess wad.
i wad just staring at lchm's pic wif her cute little boy.
and i suddenly realise
actually her smile very nice can. X:
haha. not first time realise lah.
just suddenly had this thought.
but she's saddistic de lor.
just like staff shinyi :XX
she go and make the com team run 2 rounds around basketball court.
i dunno why lah.
but she gib them one min.
then still 20, 19, 18..
then she suddenly 9, 8, 7..
so bad can ><
then geng yu run halfway dunno ankle pain or wad.
then the com team run back look at her.
then cpl yiling and lcpl guo chang run over to them.
and then lchm and cpl eliza still man man walking there lorh.
so bad )):
okay. so after ate lunch went home lorh.
ohh, and we saw CL STEFFI at the bus stop eh! she alighted from some bus then went coro.
play maple until now.
nice nice kor gave me alot of things x))
haha. then trained me for a while.
cos his mum come back.
then he quickly off lorh.
he said he'll be back later.
but by the time he come back.
i also off liao.
gonna off after i post liao lorh.
cos my mum keep shouting.
then i dun wan make her angry )):
okay. thursday going west coast group meeting!
suddenly dun feel like going lah.
i dunno why.
X:
like so far away can.
but east coast and west coast both very far from my hse lah.
cos toa payoh is in the centre of singapore?
lol.
hao bah, shall end here.
got mood then post bah. xD
.Sunday, November 25, 2007 ' 12:53 PM Y
& I'm waiting
wahahaha. im back.
bear bear say she not reading my blog in bits and pieces le .
so i shall post! (:
but got nth to post le lah.
yea, since it was suppose to be for fa-xie one.
but now nth to fa xie about. :/
i very scared ncoc camp.
haii.
i feel like pon-ing it.
just fail ncoc.
but cannot eh.
cannot leave sqdms there themselves. ):
mei ban fa? .___<
haii.
shall qian chi dao di!
just try my best bah(:
.Monday, November 19, 2007 ' 9:25 AM Y
& I'm waiting
she saw my blog.
whatever.
she's crying again in sch.
decided not to go sch anymore.
even after tuition.
i dun wanna see her cry in front of me.
and she see me, bet she cry even more.
oh, well done.
now she saw everything.
forget it.
at least let her think a bit about it.
but i think i hurt her too many times.
sorry.
but she'd neveer knew when she hurts us.
guess tt's the difference.
no mood le.
.Saturday, November 17, 2007 ' 9:06 PM Y
& I'm waiting
well, went to her blog again.
no posts.
and my eye hurts.
probably becos it's tired
and still looking at the com.
and teddy promise me to do script wif her tonight.
but dunno when she coming online.
im tired.
sometimes think tt im rally bad towards her.
feels like i've misunderstood her or sth.
but now i think differently.
she likes her besties and even np ppl more than her sqdms.
so nice.
we're so damn being left out.
toady she course ic.
as sqdms, we 'supported' her alot.
then in the end,
she emo emo.
cry cry.
becos she got 19 out of 30.
which was really quite good already.
then left wif her bestie and shanice.
leave the few of us behind.
shall not say about teddy.
or maybe i should.
she like lingering inside.
waiting for jeraldine to come out to gib her her sewing kit.
yea, we waited outside.
then jeraldine they all finally came out.
she passed her the thing.
and me and dorothy walked out again.
still stuck inside.
zz.
then still slowly wearing beret.
and talking so happily to st.
wow.
so nice lor.
i was really pissed off at tt time.
then we crossing road to concourse.
and willa chiong across the road,
running like mad after st to the concourse.
then heard from et they gonna comfort yh.
wan to comfort why dun do earlier.
zz.
and she, even worse.
she went change with her bestie and shanice.
end up pao qi wo men.
so we lingering about.
wondering whether to go into burger king.
then jeraldine came out and drag us in.
even jeraldine says tt she very guo fen.
pls lah.
and st very biased kay.
even a whole lot of no of ncos are biased towards her i must say.
it's like so damn unfair pls.
and im starting to hate st more.
she's getting really unreasonable.
okay, not unreasonable.
she wrote back to et for the fact tt she writing to yh.
so just shui bian write together.
wow.
zz.
still say in the letter we should try to talk to her when she emo.
then at least sit beside her quietly.
let her know tt we're there for her.
well, do u think we never tried b4?
..
i think she emo more when she with us lah pls.
i bet she feels that she would rather wanna be in qwsj now.
suck lah.
she emo.
ppl care about her.
do they think of us then?
say we pao qi her.
or watever.
is she pao qi wo men okay.
.Friday, November 16, 2007 ' 9:40 AM Y
& I'm waiting
lalalala.
in sch com lab now.
hope tt miss alien comes to sentosa with us!
cos im bored.
totally bored. ):
hate moi.
just finished my lessson plan without the time duration.
rawr.
stupid.
dun even know it's 1 hr or 30 mins.
and teddy is peeping at my post!!!
moi is stupid pls.
why they wan ask to do this kind of things.
still gib me a stupid topicccccccc.
lalala.
she's peeping again~
hao sian.
nth to post.
shall not waste space..
zz.
.Thursday, November 15, 2007 ' 7:37 PM Y
& I'm waiting
hmms, just read eileen's blog.
after blogging shall go do my moi!
it's HORRIBLY NOT DONE YET.
Okay, found out tt i sort of hurt eileen at times.
just wanna say dui bu qi.
im not angry with myself or anybody.
just wanna say im sorry!
i'll watch my words (:
well, today flunked performance.
the ncos were like ahem.
shall not talk about it.
and as usual, she emo again.
cried and cried after the performance.
i was like totally pissed can.
she wasnt the only one who like got sort of rejectedd or sthh?
then in the end, she was the only one crying.
like trying to get seniors' attention and sympathy or watever.
okay, seniors said they would choose her as no.1 for com team next year.
like derh.
they didnt really said it,
but it was obvious from their hint.
and shao ting was like damn concerned towards her can.
let her read lchm's letter and so on.
said she would start writing letters to her.
then how about eileen?
it's like so long time again tt shao ting wrote to her.
shao ting didnt reply lah.
yea, then she just cry and cry and cry.
then the seniors left le,
shao ting still call back to ask about her and talk to her on the phone.
wow.
so damn nice right.
zz.
well, i agreed with jeraldine plz.
we were wrapping the boxes for publi,
then talking talking.
then shao ting was like shh jeraldine,
she said wad cannot see some ppl emo-ing meh.
then jeraldine said she emo then other ppl cannot talk liao is it.
yea, tt's right.
care so much about her for wad.
try to encourage her also no use.
she just go on emo-ing.
u're practically wasting ur time doing tt.
cos she would just dao u.
i rather we spend the time chatting while doing the publi work.
then she just cry cry cry.
sit there dun nid so anything.
left everything to us to settle.
and she didnt bring the boxes for ex-ncos present AGAIN pls.
she WOKE UP LATE AGAIN TODAY.
come to sch morning also emo.
afternoon emo in front of seniors.
wad is she trying to show?
getting sympathy?
then after tt just took her bag and left.
wow.
u know just left.
dun even need to say anything.
then in the end still see her at the parade square.
walk here walk there.
waiting for us to go after her arh?
zz
then she FINALLY left.
dun need say anything lor.
so pro.
zz.
and prisci is cute de okays!
but she's kinda scary too.
sometimes happy.
sometimes low.
then sometimes sound saddistic. :X
but she's nice (:
oh, and alot of seniors said she got leadership.
and alot of ncos liked her.
wow. so pro right.
leaders got cry so easily de meh?
no right.
zz.
im really starting to lose my patience for her.
and i think im just gonna gib her de ribbons and ask her tie her OWN ex-ncos' presents for her beloved one.
and honestly saying,
lcbs liked her so much.
then hor,
she keep saying our squad very problematic,
always got casualty blah blah.
yea, and the most problematic one is her okay.
and she liked the most problematic one.
and if we are really gonna be rude and there's no barrier between us and ncos.
im gonna tell lcbs right in her face tt.
and i bet she's gonna deny it
and in the end all the blame is push to us.
yeah, thx so much.
zz.
eileen said she can go tmr,
ask me wad time me and willa meeting.
i wonder is she meant going sentosa or sch.
i hope is sentosa (:
she haven reply yet leh. :/
and my mum is nice to me today!
probably becos ytd i cried so much in front of her.
told her everything.
and she promised to buy me the doggy tt eileen's angel gave her! :D
and oh, willa.
she like wan to guan xin her then dun wan.
probably becos she knows tt we're pissed of by her.
and then she asking whether wan her to go after her.
zz.
wan go then go lah.
ask so much.
it's so DAMN IRONIC can.
okay, casualty today.
it was fun being crowd okay!
but must say sry to shaoting and geng yu.
almost like shouted at shao ting becos i was suppose to be crowd.
then geng yu,
i dun dare act panic attack in front of her.
she very ke lian can ><
ohh, just rmb angie told willa she knew why i cried.
she say it's becos of yh!
but it's wronggg!
tt's all for today.
tired of everything.
i've decided to let you go.
becos i know there's no turning back.
no point emoing becos of u,
when u're happily living ur life.
but i just wanna say,
im glad i met u and u're part of my life..
.Wednesday, November 14, 2007 ' 7:44 PM Y
& I'm waiting
i cried.
i finally cried after u left me so long.
after i finally knew the real reason from denise why u wanted to leave.
and now my heart feels as though thousand millions of arrows are piercing it.
i dunno why.
i wrote a short diary entry today on the bus.
i said i wondered why i tried so much to pretend.
pretend tt i really cared about u.
but when i heard from denise today,
i finally knew why.
i wasnt pretending maybe.
it might just be deep down from my heart.
i've never thought about having a real bf,
esp one from audi.
tt's what i told ur sis.
but did it really matter much to u back then?
denise said i broke ur heart.
i might agree.
and for tt, im sorry.
but now, u're breaking my heart even more.
honestly.
read a short story today.
it might be really short.
but it meant lots to me.
FOOTPRINTSOne night a man dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.
Then, he noticed at the lowest times of his life,
there was only one set of footprints.
He asked the LORD, "Didn't you promise tt you would be walking beside me no matter what happen? Why at the lowest times of my life was there only one set of footprints?"
The LORD reply, "I do love you, my son. At the lowest times of your life, i was there, but i wasn't walking, i was carrying you at tt time.."
I really wondered.
If u really loved me.
and would be my LORD or guardian angel.
and carry me along at the lowest times of my life.
but i doubt so.
everything cannot be reversed now.
im quitting audi alr.
no point staying there, cos there isnt a place for me to stay on.
today had a fun day, but no mood to blog.
have to cut the music for farewell performance now.
need it by 2moro..
-i do love you. maybe. i do not know.-
.Tuesday, November 13, 2007 ' 9:36 PM Y
& I'm waiting
today had a long day!
and sry sqdms for emo-ing.
suddenly thought of this person.
it's not lcff.
it's somebody.
almost cried when i was singing fen shou kuai le.
was leaning against the pillar teddy loved so much.
then staring at the sky..
haii.
but cannot cry in front of sqdms, a promise a made to myself.
so i shall keep up to it.
so i held back..
wells, went to sch in the morning ard 8.20..
was so tired tt i couldnt get myself to get up ):
so in the end last min ask my dad drive me to sch..
yawnns.
reached toa payoh at ard 6..
then promised yu chan to go running wif her.
went to her hse, and i was reading this compo book from hci(it's yu chan's one)
read a love story.
it was very touching and sad.
and the twist in the end was unexpectable.
yup, then went ard 6.55 to play badminton instead at blk 9.
so we were playing halfway.
alone at the badminton court.
it was quite quiet, unexpectably.
then we play play play.
then i no strength le..
too tired.
then LUAN CHUN appeared!
haha, she was wearing a nice tee.
so we started to chat cos im too tired to play.
talked quite alot of things.
then went home ard 8 sth.
bathed and had dinner.
then came to blog.
gonna do moi, cut songs.
2moro going plaza sing get materials to do moi stuff.
so sian.
i hate moi.
rawr. watever lah.
wonder how teddy quarrel with her bro and talk and laugh with me on msn.
so guai.
okay, shall stop here.
i wanna forget u.
but i couldnt.
i dunno why.
.Monday, November 12, 2007 ' 9:51 PM Y
& I'm waiting
haiz.
starting to miss herrrrrrr.
rawr.
dun even know whether she overseas or not.
so chammmm ):
TODAY IS A WILD WILD DAY! :D
went crazy all over climbing over the chairs and tables of the big big VOID canteen!
Haha. but became tired after tt.
:X wondered if anybody saw us playing on the chairs and tables.
maybe quite serious wor ><
haha. heck care.
came back home.
but no key!
NOBODY AT HOME!
RAWR.
feeling so tired.
then found out i was actually stoning all the way when i was on the way home.
no choice.
had to go to interchange meet my mum and bro.
then was like gonna fall asleep on bus.
like almost miss the stop.
then realised i should alight!
rawr.....im tired ):
sick of going to sch.
it's boring.
not kidding,
B-O-R-I-N-G
BORING.
RAWR.
NOTHING TO DO.
EXCEPT STONE, SING.
AND STONE AND SING.
AND LASTLY, STILL STONE AND SING..
zzz
bleh, nth to blog.
so sian.
2moro going sch so early againnnnnn.
yawnnnnnnnn.
.Saturday, November 10, 2007 ' 10:16 PM Y
& I'm waiting
boreddd..
i dun like this feeling.
sickness+boredom+emo-ness.
rawr. TAN EILEEN BETTER GIB ME UR URL SOON.
15 NOV AND TT IT IS.
gonna kill u if u drag! :X
haiz. i wanna forget him..
. ' 8:39 PM Y
& I'm waiting
made up a stupid script for farewell party.
wells, they accepted it, somehow. :/
but i need to 分手with teddy..
I DUN WAN TOO!..
and regret putting the song 分手快乐 there.
cos i just got tt experience again.
and the feeling is horrible.
it's not at all kuai le.. )):
it really broke my heart.
xin hen tong ni zhi dao mah?
dan ni shuo wo men ying gai zhi zhuo shi fu he tu di.
dan wo de xin yi lie le.
shui ran zhe zhi shi zai yi chang you xi li, dan wo dui ni hai shi you dian zhen gan qing de.
dan guo le bu jiu, wo ye ying gai hui song shou fang kai..
ni ying gai ye shi ba ta dang chang you xi ba le bah..
my heart was once heart broken again.. waiting for someone to mend it again,
but i guess it won't be tt easy..
________________________________________________
got N.................C.................O..............C today.
p.s, this is to prevent et from searching at google. :X
well, yh is COURSE I/C next week..
well, still hope everything goes well for her..
hmms, since this blog only got charmeleon jie jie reading at times,
doesnt really matter if i speak the truth here..? :/
haiz, had a bad day today.
my heart felt like emo-ing.
but i started going high not wanting to disappoint sqdms and make them boring.
and everytime i looked at her doing her own things,
ppl talking to her also dun reply,
anyhow dao ppl, emo-ing.
i feel horrible.
feel tt she very guo fen.
she only talks to willa.
only thinks tt willa gives her concern.
but how about us?
waiting outside the toilet for her,
becos she cried and halfway ran out of classroom,
when sec 2s presenting to ncos?
and in the end, she chased us away.
oh, well done.
and i have this feeling from reading her blog,
tt she keeps saying got ppl say her stupid and useless or whatever is me.
okay watever, and i try so hard to encourage using an unknown name at her blog.
so what.
i bet if she finds out it's me,
she's gonna freakingly lock her blog and sort of ignore my tags anymore.
whatever.
my temper is getting worse when i typed all these out.
and felt so ahem today.
after ncoc, she disappeared.
with our squad waiting outside for so long with our berets on.
and i casually remarked tt maybe she went to change with mel they all.
and in the end, i hit the spot.
wow, so pro right. zzz
like sugar lah.
cannot say tt word in another form of excrement.
im trying to get rid of tt stupid habit influenced by her
hopefully she doesn't rad my blog.
cos she would really get angry wif me and EMO again.
yup, E-M-O.
EMO.
horrible.
she said the Sir like shouting at them behind,
then she thought tt she need to change before coming out of hq.
and so she did with mel they all.
and now et is spamming my msn, cos im blogging and couldn't stop.
haha. she promised to teach me how to disable blog search (:
then change url and gib her the new one.
then charmeleon jie jie will lose my url!
muahahha.
shen jing bing..
zz
okays, talk about this morning.
she asked me to wait for her at interchange and go together cos she feels weird.
so i waited.
and never once was she on time.
maybe once
can't remember.
haha. change change!
okay, so she was late again.
i called her house,
just to make sure she DID wake up.
but she didnt.
she called back and say she woke her late.
then mel ask her to go wif her.
so she ps me.
simple? yes.
i sound like sir donkey or whoever or whatever.
and angie and some seniors was at bk eating.
and they saw us walking past.
so jeraldine and angie came out.
then she was walking with her BESTIE and HER NICE NICE NICEST GROUPMATE
at the other side.
so angie asked why we always like leave her out.
i almost really snap at angie.
SORRY!
couldn't hold my temper.
like wat et said, it's a bad feeling being misunderstood, or rather maglined.
okay, watever, im kinda bad at my spelling.
so yea yea.
and she dao me.
so i was trying to make the qi fen better talking to them.
and then she started emo.
EMO.
yup. E-M-O AGAIN.
emo kid sia. whatever lah.
fine, she was so high on the mrt talking to willa.
and me sounding like an outsider was trying to add in or whatever.
then after alighted, she emo again.
wow, so random sia.
she dao us.
now is us.
WILLA PLUS ME.
we were walking in hdb hub towards the lobby.
then me and willa stopped.
cos yh walking in front then we talk to her she also dao us.
and she just continue walk walk walk.
so we followed quite far behind.
she didnt turn back.
reading her NCOC notes.
wow.
so scared of being course ic.
whatever lah.
why i keep using whatever today.
cos i feel very whatever.
whatever.
zzz
so when we caught up with her.
she dao us, still staring at her ncoc notes.
okay, dun feel like saying anymore.
cos et keep chasing me to finish my post...
zzz.
dun feel like changing my blogskin.
cos im tired of spending so long time trying to make it perfect and nice.
well, im quite a perfectionist at CERTAIN things.
hope next course would be better.
hope.
i HOPE.
[edited]haha. saw my post on my blog. maybe not tt long. got write longer one b4.anyway, my font is quite big![edited]
.Thursday, November 8, 2007 ' 6:18 PM Y
& I'm waiting
haiz. dun wish to open audi already..
he told me sry and ask me to go audi see then know le..
i dun even need to see.
i know wat he had done.
really.
and i really hope it was all a lie...
.Monday, November 5, 2007 ' 5:03 PM Y
& I'm waiting
haizz. hao dui bu qi miss alien and teddy.
im changing blog address soon.
dun wanna let them know my blog liao. :(
dunno why eh.
since all of them dun wan let me know.
i shall not too.
stupid wai li.
i dunno lah.
anything lah.. :(
.Saturday, November 3, 2007 ' 9:07 PM Y
& I'm waiting
HEHES! U BETTER BE THERE ON MONDAY!
IF NOT I'LL KILL U.
WAHAHHA.
I DUN CARE.
I KNOW U MAY HAVE A CHANCE OF READING THIS POST.
SO U BETTER COME.
DUN CARE WHETHER U ASK UR FRIENDS GO WITH U OR WAT.
I JUST WANNA SEE U THERE TT NIGHT!
EVEN THOUGH I WUN BE PERFORMING,
BUT WELL,
NO MATTER WHAT,
U STILL HAVE TO COME!
SO LONG NEVER SEE U LE!
I MISS U! <33