i cried.
i finally cried after u left me so long.
after i finally knew the real reason from denise why u wanted to leave.

and now my heart feels as though thousand millions of arrows are piercing it.
i dunno why.
i wrote a short diary entry today on the bus.
i said i wondered why i tried so much to pretend.
pretend tt i really cared about u.
but when i heard from denise today,
i finally knew why.
i wasnt pretending maybe.
it might just be deep down from my heart.

i've never thought about having a real bf,
esp one from audi.
tt's what i told ur sis.
but did it really matter much to u back then?
denise said i broke ur heart.
i might agree.
and for tt, im sorry.

but now, u're breaking my heart even more.
honestly.

read a short story today.
it might be really short.
but it meant lots to me.

FOOTPRINTS

One night a man dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.
Then, he noticed at the lowest times of his life,
there was only one set of footprints.
He asked the LORD, "Didn't you promise tt you would be walking beside me no matter what happen? Why at the lowest times of my life was there only one set of footprints?"
The LORD reply, "I do love you, my son. At the lowest times of your life, i was there, but i wasn't walking, i was carrying you at tt time.."

I really wondered.
If u really loved me.
and would be my LORD or guardian angel.
and carry me along at the lowest times of my life.
but i doubt so.
everything cannot be reversed now.

im quitting audi alr.
no point staying there, cos there isnt a place for me to stay on.
today had a fun day, but no mood to blog.

have to cut the music for farewell performance now.
need it by 2moro..


-i do love you. maybe. i do not know.-

THAT LADYY

` Luping
` Amethyst (Ame)
` 22

` 6H'06 FTPPS
` 104'07 204'08 302'09 402'10 NYGH
` 11S6A HCJC
` NTU

`ELF, Primadonna, F迷, JM and much more

used to be:
` Audi-addict; IcyWitchy/IcyIceWitchy/
---xAMETHYST / Amethystf
` FAM: TheRetainners; -PlayWithMe- ; xLOVEDOPESSx;


Luping is a lost child that has been seeking for her career direction since the first time someone asked her "What would you like to be when you grow up?", when she was still too tiny to reach the basin in her house. Despite reading books like What Should I Do with My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by Po Bronson, she had been searching like a headless housefly (literally translated from 无头苍蝇) past graduation when she actually probably needed to find a job. Eventually, she found a job and a... direction.

For those who know Luping personally, she loves plushies/soft toys and is prepared to go on war with anyone who gets their hands on her babies. Her babies are personified with voices of hers and her Mummy's, and both of them enjoy framing the babies for things they obviously cannot do. When her Mummy suggested that if one day, the babies actually speak up, “那应该会吓死” (it would probably frighten one to death), she responded that she will instead “开心死” (be happy till death) if xiaofenhong (our cute, hot pink, flat bunny) replies her. That is the extent of her loneliness love for her babies.

And for those who know Luping as Amethyst, she is a rather huge fangirl of the Korean boy band, Super Junior. So much that she learnt (and is still learning - 반가워요!) Korean in hope of understanding what they say without subtitles and avoiding the losses in translation. She has been a fanfic writer for two years and counting, which sparked off her interest in writing and thus, this blog to practise writing so that one day, she might have the courage to apply for a (content) writer position or send in a manuscript to a publisher.

HER PASTY

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