Uhh. long time since i posted. about 1 week ago?
and im thinking if there's lit circle 2moro.
is it?
i dunno. D:
im lost. and crazy. :X
have yet to even start on my la speech.
i seriously dun feel like even doing it.
grrs.

just read junwei's post.
and yeah, i do think that what's the point of living at times.
but well, it doesnt really affect me.
so dun get freaked out by me. ;D
and i won't be silly enough to commit suicide.
i won't.
i'm still happily living my days, doing things im suppose to do.
just that life sometimes gets quite boring like this.
hen mei you le qu.
uhh. that kinda drives me to spending my time stoning and thinking. ._.
and it's not really ren sheng da dao li or whatever.
it's just my thoughts and what i come to eventually after all the thinking.
and to me,
i dun wanna live this life not even thinking about anything.
it's really nice to not think and live life happily everyday, being so innocent.
but eventually, there would be a point of time when everybody makes their own decisions,
and making your own decisions and stuff requires you to think.
this blog is just an emo silent side of me.
i'm totally different in real life.
and i promised myself that i won't let anybody see me committing suicide one day,
because i dun see the point of living anymore.
the most,
you would just see me doing nothing. X:
no matter what,
life still goes on right?
and being able to live is a privilege.
some people wanted to live, but because of unfortunate events,
this privilege is being taken away from them.
so why throw away your own privilege when you can enjoy having it?
as long as you enjoy your life,
you know that you're part of the force that drives this world going on,
why would you think of killing yourself?
right, i may say that committing suicide is silly.
but maybe junwei is right,
maybe one day i would end up on the rooftop of some random building,
thinking of ending my life.
but at that moment,
i will make myself remember this,
my life ends there,
but my problems don't.
these problems would become problems of others,
and they would have a need to solve it for me.

and talking about a strong mindset,
it's not what you want that you can have.
it comes naturally in a sense.
that you look at things openly,
and you can find the bright side of things.
and you work towards it.
as supported from evidence of dunno how many suicides in this world,
many people are unable to think "on the bright side"
they choose to run away, instead of facing problems and hardship.
why?
the reason is simple,
because they think that it's too hard.
and then you approach the same problem,
but you say, "it's easy".
because everybody has different perceptions of what is hard and what is easy.
it depends on that one person's character, the environment he grew up in, and many other factors.
that is what makes up one unique individual.
so when others cannot reach your expectations, don't blame them.
you might think that these expectations is low,
but to them,
it might just be too high, and they just can't do it,
even if they try their best.
and what people would usually say is, "try harder".
but trying harder needs time.
time is like a important factor of everything in this world.
some people think that they don't have the time to do things,
but some people think they just have too much time.
you can't wish that you would have unlimited time to do things in this world,
because it's is actually impossible.
even if you do finish something,
and because of the unlimited time,
you would just be stuck there forever.
and another thing is,
it's not within our control to have unlimited time.
oops. (out of point sia.)
back to having a strong mindset,
without people giving you their opinions through counseling,
you would not even know how to change your own thinkings,
so as to change to be mentally stronger.
so, counseling do help at times.
but after all,
it all goes back to that person's decision of whether he wants to be mentally stronger or what.

okay. i sound like im totally contradicting junwei.
nvm, i shall attempt to do my la speech now.
till then.

THAT LADYY

` Luping
` Amethyst (Ame)
` 22

` 6H'06 FTPPS
` 104'07 204'08 302'09 402'10 NYGH
` 11S6A HCJC
` NTU

`ELF, Primadonna, F迷, JM and much more

used to be:
` Audi-addict; IcyWitchy/IcyIceWitchy/
---xAMETHYST / Amethystf
` FAM: TheRetainners; -PlayWithMe- ; xLOVEDOPESSx;


Luping is a lost child that has been seeking for her career direction since the first time someone asked her "What would you like to be when you grow up?", when she was still too tiny to reach the basin in her house. Despite reading books like What Should I Do with My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by Po Bronson, she had been searching like a headless housefly (literally translated from 无头苍蝇) past graduation when she actually probably needed to find a job. Eventually, she found a job and a... direction.

For those who know Luping personally, she loves plushies/soft toys and is prepared to go on war with anyone who gets their hands on her babies. Her babies are personified with voices of hers and her Mummy's, and both of them enjoy framing the babies for things they obviously cannot do. When her Mummy suggested that if one day, the babies actually speak up, “那应该会吓死” (it would probably frighten one to death), she responded that she will instead “开心死” (be happy till death) if xiaofenhong (our cute, hot pink, flat bunny) replies her. That is the extent of her loneliness love for her babies.

And for those who know Luping as Amethyst, she is a rather huge fangirl of the Korean boy band, Super Junior. So much that she learnt (and is still learning - 반가워요!) Korean in hope of understanding what they say without subtitles and avoiding the losses in translation. She has been a fanfic writer for two years and counting, which sparked off her interest in writing and thus, this blog to practise writing so that one day, she might have the courage to apply for a (content) writer position or send in a manuscript to a publisher.

HER PASTY

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