Dreams.. that are no longer existent?
What do I really want to begin with?

2 days of attachment for msw.
Other than the fun part of meeting people and the hc senior, everything was plain information overload. It's a challenging job where you have to learn constantly, think fast, act fast, hence the excitement. But you need to be able to handle stress, firstly, from your colleagues (supervisors), then doctors/mdm team, and lastly, your clients/patients. A lot of training on the job required for the medical conditions part and how do you survive at first not understanding anything, but getting shoot down by everyone because you simply not know? It's a scary thought, and it's not as if it's your fault because it's not even taught anywhere and there isn't a course for that part. Then comes the emotional part of having to do counseling for your patients and the family members. How do you deal with sensitive issues and how to deal with it when patients pass away? Somehow, I think I'm going to have a difficult time for that part. Then the exceeding expectations from people of msws, it's just.. sad.
It's a job where demand is high, hence the steadiness and guarantee of a job. But then again, you don't get paid much for all the long hours you work. It's not as if you're really paid totally peanuts, but honestly, we can earn much more, much faster and achieving more in a job after studying other uni courses.

Stuck. Totally stuck and I don't know what to.
How do you actually know where your passion lies from just seeing what people do? You probably need to try it out yourself for a month or so before you know. But "signing on the dotted line" means 8 years. 4 years of study and 4 years of bond. How am I going to survive if I realise I do not have the passion halfway?

어떻게...?

Why is this all so hard...

THAT LADYY

` Luping
` Amethyst (Ame)
` 22

` 6H'06 FTPPS
` 104'07 204'08 302'09 402'10 NYGH
` 11S6A HCJC
` NTU

`ELF, Primadonna, F迷, JM and much more

used to be:
` Audi-addict; IcyWitchy/IcyIceWitchy/
---xAMETHYST / Amethystf
` FAM: TheRetainners; -PlayWithMe- ; xLOVEDOPESSx;


Luping is a lost child that has been seeking for her career direction since the first time someone asked her "What would you like to be when you grow up?", when she was still too tiny to reach the basin in her house. Despite reading books like What Should I Do with My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by Po Bronson, she had been searching like a headless housefly (literally translated from 无头苍蝇) past graduation when she actually probably needed to find a job. Eventually, she found a job and a... direction.

For those who know Luping personally, she loves plushies/soft toys and is prepared to go on war with anyone who gets their hands on her babies. Her babies are personified with voices of hers and her Mummy's, and both of them enjoy framing the babies for things they obviously cannot do. When her Mummy suggested that if one day, the babies actually speak up, “那应该会吓死” (it would probably frighten one to death), she responded that she will instead “开心死” (be happy till death) if xiaofenhong (our cute, hot pink, flat bunny) replies her. That is the extent of her loneliness love for her babies.

And for those who know Luping as Amethyst, she is a rather huge fangirl of the Korean boy band, Super Junior. So much that she learnt (and is still learning - 반가워요!) Korean in hope of understanding what they say without subtitles and avoiding the losses in translation. She has been a fanfic writer for two years and counting, which sparked off her interest in writing and thus, this blog to practise writing so that one day, she might have the courage to apply for a (content) writer position or send in a manuscript to a publisher.

HER PASTY

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