새해 복 많이 받으세요..!
一天接一天，一年接一年，生命一再地证明它的脆弱。
而人，总是在失去后才懂得珍惜。
也许是荷尔蒙作怪，新年头一天，流了好多泪。
虽然种种原因都不是什么好事，但单单流泪这件事不见得是坏事… 至少我感受到了自己的真心。
希望对于每个受伤的人，新的一年一切都能变好。
放轻松点，如果你愿意，我们都可以很幸福。
제 발...
가슴이 눈물이 또 너의 기억이
한 방울 한 방울 또 내 가슴에 흘러 내린다
울어도 울어도 지워지지 않는 기억을 따라
오늘도 빈 내 가슴을 또 적신다
This CNY came without any anticipation or realisation till people told me.
It doesn't feel like a holiday, because there are so many things that I need to prepare for.
But at least on the day before the eve, I had fun and enjoyed the night with new friends and a new interest.
And getting my first ang boa for this year ^^
Thank you.
And I promise, I will remember to keep that smile.
Fast forward workshops have finally ended after spending 5 Saturdays. The workshop may be a bit too long, may be a bit not useful, may be a bit not applicable. But the people were amazing. The facilitators were really capable people. And some inspiring. I guess the best reward you get from attending these sessions are not just the knowledge, but getting to know people.
The second meeting with ms ex-gg leader was.. meaningful. When she talks about her reasons and passion for this project, you can see it in her eyes that she really do care.
But I may not be as noble as much as I would like to be. Am I really doing this because I feel like I'm helping these beneficiaries? It's really hard when you don't know their story, don't know whether you are really helping them, don't know whether they need your help and don't know what to do. And also when there is a lack of the team effort.
Like she said, the worst problem is humans ourselves. How do you build a strong team when you're just one random low ranking employee?
Thank you for telling me to "Be the change that you wish to see". Maybe I really can start small with those actions, but to begin with, I lack those social skills.
And I'm tired. Not physically, since I still slack and watch dramas etc. But mentally. There's so much to think about, consider, make a decision that I'm just running away. Because time is too short. 3 years for my uni journey is too short for me to achieve all the different things I had wished to do.
And where do I find the balance between self enrichment, studies, cca? What are my priorities?
I don't know, and I seem to not want to know and just live as it is.
Time. I need time to think. I need time to relax. I need time to break down.
The number of things awaiting me to complete.. The list will never end.
And yet, I'm sitting in front of the laptop, typing this post.
Tired.. I wanna sleep, but my hair is wet. (and no, I don't have a hair dryer in hall)
And I need to read up for lectures tomorrow.
That feeling..
Maybe now it is really coming back.
Maybe this time, it's not my mind telling me that I should be feeling that.
But my heart feeling that before my brain realises.
Every time I do something, I wonder whether I should have done that after doing.
Call it reflecting or whatsoever.
Maybe, it's just me being indecisive and wanting to revoke whatever I promised/did.
Second week of the semester, and we all are complaining about how busy things are and how tired we are.
Was that talk kind of like complaining?
Why did I not feel like I made much sense in the end?
Is it just me overthinking things and being over paranoid?
I wonder .
When I was more of an introvert then, I told myself, you gotta start speaking.
Now that I start to speak more, I feel like telling myself, you need to learn to speak the right things at the right time. And stop telling people all about your personal life so easily. It burdens them too and they don't need to know.
When you need to talk.. is in class discussions.
那相处的感觉.. 早已不一样。
该怎样对待这些人..
最近发现, 我不知不觉地疏远他们。
那该死的缺乏安全感难道就不能离你远一点吗? 虽然这次是能理解的。好希望好希望能有更多更多人能守护你, 支持你, 让你得到全世界的认同与掌声。
就……夏之雪台湾公演结束了。
我…真的…正去往何方?
理解我的人…
何时能得到安定?
做了最后一场演出，
现在，这个让我满足了好一阵子的公演…
畅快吗？幸福吗？”
开学才第一星期，就觉得好累。心理上的累，身体上的累。
与人相处累。与自己相处更累。
真希望能回到从前，能不用想而单单地感受。
过于的清楚自己的想法和感受，变成了一种想着该怎样感受的习惯。
这习惯，让我思绪好乱。
是伤心？还是觉得我现在应该伤心？还是我想让别人知道我伤心？
虚假。好像一切包括自己都变得好虚假。
而想要疯狂的追逐自己想达到的，是否是一个明智的决定？
不，那不是决定，是一种选择。因为在半途中，我总是会选择放弃。
至少… 你们的笑容能让我暂时忘掉自己的烦恼，不需要思考的微笑与感受那份快乐。
逃避吗？也许吧，但我逃得很快乐。
突然想起那在台湾寄给几位好友的明信片…
许愿竹上写着 “我们可以很幸福”。
就抱着这个信念吧，我们要一起幸福。