Fast forward workshops have finally ended after spending 5 Saturdays. The workshop may be a bit too long, may be a bit not useful, may be a bit not applicable. But the people were amazing. The facilitators were really capable people. And some inspiring. I guess the best reward you get from attending these sessions are not just the knowledge, but getting to know people.
The second meeting with ms ex-gg leader was.. meaningful. When she talks about her reasons and passion for this project, you can see it in her eyes that she really do care.
But I may not be as noble as much as I would like to be. Am I really doing this because I feel like I'm helping these beneficiaries? It's really hard when you don't know their story, don't know whether you are really helping them, don't know whether they need your help and don't know what to do. And also when there is a lack of the team effort.
Like she said, the worst problem is humans ourselves. How do you build a strong team when you're just one random low ranking employee?
Thank you for telling me to "Be the change that you wish to see". Maybe I really can start small with those actions, but to begin with, I lack those social skills.
And I'm tired. Not physically, since I still slack and watch dramas etc. But mentally. There's so much to think about, consider, make a decision that I'm just running away. Because time is too short. 3 years for my uni journey is too short for me to achieve all the different things I had wished to do.
And where do I find the balance between self enrichment, studies, cca? What are my priorities?
I don't know, and I seem to not want to know and just live as it is.
Time. I need time to think. I need time to relax. I need time to break down.