.Wednesday, February 19, 2014 ' 11:48 PM Y
& I'm waiting
Breakdown
It has been a really long time.
And I should be grabbing the time to sleep now, considering that Im sick and my eyes are hurting so much.
Haven't been as honest to myself in a long time.
I lack courage.
I lack capability.
I lack direction.
but yeah, you will learn to care less about other people's views when you realise how little they care.
(or how little we hope they care, because some things are just not so easily ignored)
I'm tired.
Tomorrow's a long day again.
Time waits for no one.
How I wish I could just be no one.
.Saturday, February 15, 2014 ' 8:25 PM Y
& I'm waiting
Back To Square One.
having problems adjusting to my old laptop, since I didn't bring back my Mac.
cca presentations ended, but what is going to go on from now on?
all the talks and knowing of the various people in cca, I start to realize how capable all these people are. They have their own thoughts, their own plans, their own dreams.
And me, I'm struggling with everything, including myself.
how far can I go like this?
Do I go for money? dreams? bright future? happiness? meaningful life?
it's so difficult.
and I can't seem to find an answer after 19.5 years.
I'm tired thinking about myself alr. Even more tired that I have to handle other people. I don't wanna be in charge. I don't wanna take responsibility for once. I am not as capable as you think. And neither am I fearless.
.Friday, February 14, 2014 ' 11:44 PM Y
& I'm waiting
140214
My 300th Post. ^^
Happy Valentine's Day.
Honestly, I didn't even realise today was Valentine's till my group mate wished me on google docs when she said goodnight.
(Oh, thanks to those who gave me chocolates/pepero! (yes, celebrating my singularity, thank you))
The mad rush of cca, tutorials, projects, presentations, readings, tests, assignments and I don't know what just made my mind so occupied.
My effective memory span (for those new knowledge I am learning) as of now is probably less than a day. Too much information coming in and all those being pushed out. I wonder how we're supposed to utilise that don't know how many percent of our unused parts of the brain. (Yes, like I said, I threw away all those knowledge including this)
For once, I worked from 6.45am till 2.15am endlessly yesterday.
Mainly due to knitting the scarf to send my friend off on Wednesday and the crazy FM presentation that required so much research on Friday.
And maybe the drop in my time management ability too.
It was tiring, I'm still tired, but at least things went fairly well.
So after lessons ended at 2.30pm, I went out to meet my mum, ate, talked, laughed, played with xfh and ban ban, took photos, walked around, buy stuff.
It was nothing much, but I have spent all my Valentine's with my mum till now.
And a few photos of my mum I captured on my phone were priceless.. At that moment, I stared at the photo and thought.. What would I do without her?
What does Valentine's mean to you?
It is a sweet day for sure. Looking at people on the streets with roses, chocolates, balloons, soft toys, presents, etc etc.
If only you can find someone you love as much and loves you as much who can make you feel like it's Valentine's everyday. :)
And yes, I slacked way too much after my lessons ended today.
And I have a presentation tomorrow that I probably should prepare for.
And a test next Tuesday.
And a new week of readings and lessons to prepare for.
And projects that need progress.
Oh. And sleep.
Time to get back on track.
(and do you want to build a snowman..? )
.Monday, February 10, 2014 ' 11:15 PM Y
& I'm waiting
Some people are worth melting for
Gonna write about Frozen which I finally caught yesterday, even though I really do have a lot of things to do.
In such a trance, but I don't know if it is really because I'm tired. It's just this feeling that randomly catches me off guard.
Back to the movie.
Frozen has been in theatres for close to two months I think.
So it was quite lucky that it was still showing yesterday when I finally won over my internal conflict to watch it with my mum instead of doing all my work in hall.
My mum found the movie nice. (this is really rare; she falls asleep in all movies. And she fell asleep for awhile in this too)
It was humorous, exciting, touching and most importantly, simple.
I guess that's the magic of Disney Animations. Simple stories, but nevertheless touching and bring smiles to people's faces.
Just like I couldn't get their vision out of my head after hearing about it at fast forward workshop a few weeks back.
Walt Disney - To Make People Happy.
I guess they really did it well, especially Disney Animations :)
The character that I probably loved the most out of the whole movie: Olaf the Snowman.
Ever so positive, he loves summer and dreams about him enjoying summer.
At the start, everyone thinks he's just delusional and doesn't know about the truth that he melts under heat. But closer to the end of the movie, as Anna asked him to stay away from the fire because he will melt, he says "Some people are worth melting for."
He knows he will melt, but nevertheless dreams happily about heat and summer.
It doesn't hurt to have dreams, even those that seem unattainable, because they may just come true one day. Just like how it came true for Olaf at the end of the movie. :)
His optimism and his courage, things I will never have.
Secondly, I like Elsa more than Anna, even though Anna is more of the main character in the movie. Especially the part where Elsa escapes to the mountains and transforms into her real self (and a really beautiful self ^^)
The movie soundtrack was really good, and this part is when "Let It Go" is sung by Elsa in the movie.
That kind of emotional release, that kind of expression put on Elsa's face, was... overwhelming.
And of course, Elsa's ice and snow power is really pretty. :)
"I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the storm rage on; the cold never bothered me anyway."
If only one can be as brave as Elsa in real life.
Let it go, let it go.
You will never see me cry.
Here I stand, and here I stay.
Let the storm rage on; the cold never bothered me anyway
.Sunday, February 9, 2014 ' 11:43 AM Y
& I'm waiting
Be prepared to give up who you are for what you can become
Be prepared to give up who you are for what you can become.
Sacrifices are needed for you to become the one you want to be.
But when is the right time to make such sacrifices? Do sacrifices necessary translate to a positive outcome?
What if giving up who you are doesn't help you become what you can become? Or rather... what you want to become.
过去的快乐太直接, 现在的一切太扭捏。
经历的越多, 越害怕受伤。