.Thursday, April 24, 2014 ' 10:14 PM Y
& I'm waiting
It's so hard.
I don't know how I can actually get myself down to studying properly.
This is not working.
Nothing is working.
Am I even trying?
How am I going to get the results I want like this?
Stop being so sick and tired of being sick and tired you idiot.
It's not going to get you anywhere.
And get over this matter.
Yes, it sucks to be accused or whatever.
And yes, the self-righteous part of you is saying, seriously, I did nothing wrong.
But you knew better when you started it.
And yes, forever lonely as a fangirl.
But complaining of the loneliness and wallowing in self-pity is not going to help with anything.
fucking just get over it.
And get to studying.
you don't have a second chance with exams.
and you can do whatever you like after the exams.
while people are struggling for their lives elsewhere, crying over lost ones, you're here playing.
make your life more meaningful.
be responsible.
like you always hoped yourself to be.
and work as hard as him.
not for him, but for yourself and the people you love.
your life is more than just fangirling and everything related to that.
.Monday, April 21, 2014 ' 8:25 PM Y
& I'm waiting
기도합니다
Our world seems to be going wrong in every way.
Please save ourselves. Please save the world.
Praying for a miracle. No, praying for miracles.
Because that's all I can do for those suffering now.
. ' 8:16 AM Y
& I'm waiting
16 days to holidays!
Yes, I know the exact number of days thanks to my classmates who decided to name our whatsapp chat as a countdown and change the name and group icon everyday :P
Its been 2 weeks since my last blog post. Time really flies when you're busy huh. Its the start of study break and here I am, sitting in jp Macs drinking coffee, listening to music and typing this post. Let's make study week fulfilling!
It's just 16 days!! And xfh and banban will be with me in hall this time :')
Xfh is a bit troublesome to bring around, but my mum knew I needed her and insisted that xfh wanted to come xD
After these 16 days, will I really find what I want? Do I want? How am I going to spend that 3 months?
But that's to decide after 16 days.
파이팅!!! 할수있어!!
언젠가는 우리 다시 만나리.
.Monday, April 7, 2014 ' 11:44 AM Y
& I'm waiting
Fanfics
Somehow I fell into the world of writing fanfics. I wrote close to 20000 words during the weekend (I basically spent both days on it) And both stories are now progressing slowly.
This post is meant for my roomie who occasionally stalks my blog.
If you see this, thank you for all the ideas for the stories and encouragement! No matter what I do or what I say, you have always been my side, and I just want you to know I appreciate it a lot. :)
Love you, and both stories are for you.
To everyone who happens to read this post, here's the link to the stories I'm writing.
But if you don't like reading about gay couples or something, you might not wanna click on them. But rest assured that there's no sexual scenes or whatnot (ATTENTION HERE ROOMIE) :P
To The Years of Love:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/703132/to-the-years-of-love
My Heart Only Stops for You:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/703105/my-heart-only-stops-for-you
.Sunday, April 6, 2014 ' 11:53 AM Y
& I'm waiting
追遠
Went to 扫墓 with Daddy and bro today, since Mummy had to go to the temple.
Felt guilty because I couldn't wake up yesterday to go with Mummy to my maternal grandparents side.. And my bro ended up being unable to wake up too, so Mummy went alone. :/ must make it a point to stop letting go of pigeons.
Unknowingly, I couldn't help but smile at my brother's cute actions at times and him trying to sell his psp to me and describing how I can play patapon on it. xD he wanted to save money to get a s5. The most funny part was.. 外面买100，看在你是我妹妹，我买你150啦。
And he said it in such a righteous tone xD
And I couldn't help but smile in the taxi trip back home, as Daddy talked endlessly about taxi driving and giving tips. Because the driver just started for a few days and Daddy has drove over 20 years. Haha, and I don't know if the driver was just trying to make some conversations or truly wanted to learn, he ended up asking for certain directions and routes and whether you can get to a certain place through this and that. :P
Daddy sounded proud, proud of his experience and how he can visualise the maps when he hears the road name (according to him). And yeah, as much as some may think that being a taxi driver is a hard and low status job, I'm proud that my dad brought us through so many years being a taxi driver. And I'm sure he is too, to some extent.
I don't know if it's because Mummy wasn't there together to distract me, but I ended up telling ah ma stuff while standing in front of her spirit tablet.
Somehow, I felt like I really missed her. And I couldn't help thinking about how it would be like when others leave me again.
And I got brought back to the memories of when she passed away close to 4 years ago. Yes, time flies. It has been 4 years already. And I remembered the compo I wrote in memory of her. And the photo of her that I took secretly one day using my old phone, which I believe the photo is now somewhere in my thumb drive. And how I cried endlessly on the bus to school one morning, making a promise to myself that I would think of her occasionally so that I won't forget how she looked, the way she smiled.
And of course, my maternal grandparents. Grandpa that I saw even less but felt a greater loss because I understand much more now.. and Grandma whom I have never seen before. I always wondered how Mummy felt when she goes to visit grandma. I need to accompany her the next time, can't let her feel lonely..
To my grandparents in heaven or somewhere out there, I hope all is well. And please bless all of us to be well.
보고싶다.. 정말.
THAT LADYY
` Luping
` Amethyst (Ame)
` 22
` 6H'06 FTPPS
` 104'07 204'08 302'09 402'10 NYGH
` 11S6A HCJC
` NTU
`ELF, Primadonna, F迷, JM and much more
used to be:
` Audi-addict; IcyWitchy/IcyIceWitchy/
---xAMETHYST / Amethystf
` FAM: TheRetainners; -PlayWithMe- ; xLOVEDOPESSx;
Luping is a lost child that has been seeking for her career direction since the first time someone asked her "What would you like to be when you grow up?", when she was still too tiny to reach the basin in her house. Despite reading books like What Should I Do with My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by Po Bronson, she had been searching like a headless housefly (literally translated from 无头苍蝇) past graduation when she actually probably needed to find a job. Eventually, she found a job and a... direction.
For those who know Luping personally, she loves plushies/soft toys and is prepared to go on war with anyone who gets their hands on her babies. Her babies are personified with voices of hers and her Mummy's, and both of them enjoy framing the babies for things they obviously cannot do. When her Mummy suggested that if one day, the babies actually speak up, “那应该会吓死” (it would probably frighten one to death), she responded that she will instead “开心死” (be happy till death) if xiaofenhong (our cute, hot pink, flat bunny) replies her. That is the extent of her loneliness love for her babies.
And for those who know Luping as Amethyst, she is a rather huge fangirl of the Korean boy band, Super Junior. So much that she learnt (and is still learning - 반가워요!) Korean in hope of understanding what they say without subtitles and avoiding the losses in translation. She has been a fanfic writer for two years and counting, which sparked off her interest in writing and thus, this blog to practise writing so that one day, she might have the courage to apply for a (content) writer position or send in a manuscript to a publisher.
HER PASTY