.Wednesday, September 3, 2014 ' 10:16 PM Y
& I'm waiting
Life; Death.
With life comes death.
Woke up to sad news this morning - Ladies Code was involved in a car accident and one of their members passed away, while two other sustained serious injuries. It wasn't because they are celebrities that we should pray for them, but because they are humans. It must hurt so much for the members to know their dearest friend passed away, especially so for the two after regaining consciousness - one, whose birthday is today; and the other, who went through hours of major operations.
Although I know nothing and simply know of the existence of their group, the matter was on my mind the entire day. This was especially so when K tweeted - his starting line of 'this doesn't feel like another person's matter/I can relate' struck me. I wasn't a fan when their accident happened and he almost lost his life, but hearing from other fans, it must have been a terrifying matter. Definitely.
Life seems to enjoy proving its fragility, or maybe, it's just that the media forever reports the negative, leaving out the positives in our lives. Those little stories of how people fought for their lives... mainly go unnoticed.
Two things that friends said struck me recently.
1) My friends always talk about how I will go sugar/caffeine-high and laugh crazily/act crazily. Nowadays, I deny it. I said it won't happen so easily again.
Once, I gave a passing, half-kidding remark that 'I'm jaded by life' when someone ask why. And one of my best friends said, 'Yes, I really think she's jaded by life'.
2) People have been commenting on how negative I am recently, and I can't help noticing it myself. Always seeing the dark side of things, lacking confidence, lacking trust.
Am I really jaded by life? Hah, maybe I really am depressed.
And so, witnessing such fragility of life should have pushed me to cherish every moment and work harder, but there's this conflicting idea in my head.
If I only have those few moments left, shouldn't I just enjoy myself and do whatever I want?
My mum always say (and do) that why make yourself so unhappy in life? If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Somehow, either I inherited this from her, or her personality rubbed off me.
But how do you achieve in life without a little discipline when you lack motivation?
Came across this documentary film named 'The Act of Killing'. Read up on the hypnosis, watched the first few seconds of the trailer, but I have no courage to watch the film. It's intriguing, but it scares me. And there's this comment left on the youtube trailer about how killing is nothing; we should let god determine the number of lives left on Earth. Something along those lines of 'it's fate'. Religious principles aside, it makes sense if you believe in fate. But does that mean that we should embrace such an 'activity' and stop praying for bad things to not happen?
At the very least, praying gives hope. So please, I pray for the health and good of everyone.
Rest in peace, EunB. And please let the other members, staff, family and all involved be strong and get well soon.
S left a message and the last part says "Work hard everyday. And think of us when you do."
It shall be motivation for tonight.
Today was mellow; may tomorrow be better.
감사합니다. 사랑합니다. 죄송합니다. 용서해주세요.
기도합니다.