So this is how it feels like to really feel your emotions through the musical, to cry with you, to watch you smile and take fans' gifts, to hand you a gift personally, to crazily recall whatever happened, to massively review photos and videos on tweets, to see myself in those fan videos, and to realise that whatever happened wasn't what I thought happened.
Still, I'm satisfied. It felt like the first step in truly acknowledging that I'm a fan, to not to have to deny wanting to see you all, to hide the excitement within me from others.
There's so much mixed feelings right now I just want to laugh and cry at the same time. The musical, your acting, the music, your singing, your smile, your warm greetings... The fact that I'm leaving in a day or so, the fact that this unknown future feels so vague.
Is that how you feel from time to time too? I'll draw courage from your smile to take this step to the outside world. Because while you and the others are working hard, I should be working hard too.
Till then... Till I see you and others again, I'll bravely smile and find my own spot, find my own path in life. And till then and beyond, I'll be praying for your and others' health and smile.
E.L.F. - Everlasting friend.
Perhaps it's impossible to always be your fan, but it feels like I'll forever be your friend, supporting you no matter where I am. 슈주... 규현오빠... 늘 고맙고 사랑한다.